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Like three years ago, I bought my boyfriend a Nintendo Wii. He had been bitching about wanting one for weeks, so being a really good girlfriend I got him one. He spent all day playing it and really didn't even notice me trying to get with him. Every time I would put my arm around him he would either push it off, or not even acknowledge my existence. Anyway, I finally told him that I wanted to have sex with him, his response was, "can I play Wii while we do it?" I reluctanly accepted (it was his bithday afterall). I was riding him and was sort of getting into it, until, while playing Wii Tennis, he slapped me accross the face with the controller. He shattered my nose and I bled everywhere. He called an ambulance instead of driving me to the hospital. Why? He didn't want to stop playing his Wii. I'm so bad at sex.
nintendo on January 14th, 2010 | Comments: 3
When I was 15, I had one of the coolest girlfriends a kid in grade 10 could have. She listened to good music, was 16!, and was down to fuck. I was a nervous virgin, but after a few weeks of doing things I had only read about in my "Your Developing Body" textbook, the prospect of intercourse was finally brought up. We were at a party, we had been drinking, and there was an empty room upstairs. I had watched all the porn on my computer earlier that day to learn some moves and was actually doing quite well, until I started to feel a horrible rumble in my stomach. I ignored it, truly believing I could finish before I ruined the toilet with the KFC I had eaten while watching said porn. This was a big mistake, the relaxation of my abdominal muscles after I came caused me to shit everywhere: on the bed, on the floor, and worst of all... all over her. She screamed and ran out of there. We avoided eye contact for the rest of the school year, and she eventually moved away. I'm so bad at sex.
seniorsplash on January 14th, 2010 | Comments: 1
I recently was dumped by my girlfriend because, "we just were not working out." After a few days it was revealed to me that in actuality it was because I apparently sucked at sex. I called up my now ex asking for an explanation. At first, she denied these allegations, but when pressured, entered into a detailed presentation at how bad I was. I spent the rest of my holidays masturbating the various pictures of Tiger Woods' mistresses on the net. I'm so bad at sex.
sdean on January 5th, 2010 | Comments: 0
A few weeks ago, I went to a party, met a guy and we hit it off. So we went upstairs and started having sex. In the middle of it, one of the other girls from the party walked into the room, but she didn't leave. She stood in the doorway looking at us, and all of a sudden she screamed, "What the fuck?" and she ran at me and punched me in the face and grabbed me by the hair. As I was trying to get her off me and figure out why she suddenly decided to punch me, she said, "Oh you're not my boyfriend," to the guy that I was sleeping with, and then she apologized and left. I'm so bad at sex.
raynemayker on December 29th, 2009 | Comments: 1
Sounds like you're good at sex (1)
This has actually happened twice. My boyfriend and I were hammered and I had no idea what was going on [he told me what happened the next morning]. We had intense sex and he was exhausted and trying to go to sleep but I guess I wasn't done with him. I kept grabbing his dick and hopping on top of him. I'm so bad at sex.
Divine Chaos on December 27th, 2009 | Comments: 0
Knowing that this might have very well been the outcome of my evening, I ended up in a threesome with these two guys. Unfortunately, I was on day 3 of my 5 day period. They both knew this but decided to experiment anyway, seeing as we were getting good and drunk. I was making out with one of them and he starts fingering me, which surprised me for obvious reasons. He pulls out his fingers which are covered in blood, pauses, looks at the other guy and goes "Ugh, dude!" and disappears for a few minutes. After what I assume was a consoling heart to heart between the two of them, they emerge from a bathroom, recuperated. Now, I was under the impression that this was one of the only peculiar events of our time together, but apparently the details were bewildering to behold. I was hanging out with the no-bloody-fingers man months later and he frankly explained that the seemingly insignificant pause, partially undetected by myself was, without a doubt, the swiping motion of bloody-fingers man wiping his upper lip. With his period-ed hand. I still marvel at how I could have missed this bloodstache. The excuse: He was too drunk to remember I was menstruating. He's so bad at remembering that I'm bad at sex.
manolantern on December 19th, 2009 | Comments: 0
Last night I had sex while wearing a snuggie. I'm so bad at sex.
sirsnuggz on December 8th, 2009 | Comments: 1
I decided to have sex with a boy because he looked like Jesus. I was really drunk and my parents were extremely religious when I was growing up, so I've always had this pent up sexual rage against Jesus. Not only did I call him Jesus during sex, I made reference to Judas and Pontius Pilate numerous times as well as when things got heated I would gouge my finger nails into his back. He said, "This is really really weird" and left when after the sex I mounted his back and told him to piggy back me around the house with my arms out. I'm so bad at sex.
meyele on December 2nd, 2009 | Comments: 5
I'm generally pretty bad at sex. However, my most recent experience has lead me to quit having sex all together. I was having sex with a girl who had at least 40 pounds on me. I somehow mounted her and was humping away. Then I received a whisper in my ear "Stop, please just stop". I had been having sex with her belly fat, and had already came. I'm so bad at sex.
dannytanner on December 1st, 2009 | Comments: 1
Ok, I've been holding this back for a while, but since it's sorta anonymous who cares? So I live on a main street in Montreal at a residence and it was during frosh and everyone was drunk. Anyways I had had a shitload to drink that night and decided it would be smart to hook up with this random guy from the residence who thought I was "such a pretty girl!" I know, right? Anyway, we're going at it, and its clear he has no idea what he's doing. Dude starts to get nervous and pretends to answer his phone (no one on the other line), he then hangs up and says he needs to go talk to his mom. First night of frosh, looking for action, I'm left stood up by some guy's pretend mom. I'm so bad at sex.
montrealchick on November 10th, 2009 | Comments: 0
