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After my boyfriend and I of about 2 years broke up, I started drinking A LOT on the weekends. After we'd been broken up for a couple months I started having sex with one of my guy friends every weekend when I would get drunk, but it was nothing serious. I still really missed my ex and cared about him a lot. So this one weekend when I was particularly drunk, me and this boy who we will call Tyler, decided to go down to his room and have sex during a party he was having. We were getting pretty into it and it was feeling really good... so in my fucked up state I started to say his name over and over again... only I wasn't moaning his name, I was saying my ex's name. He stopped pumping away and calmly looked at me and said, my name isn't *John, its Tyler. At that point I felt so embarrassed that I started crying uncontrollably, so he had to stop and comfort me in my sad drunken state til I stopped crying. After that he went back up to the party, and I went to bed crying in his room, with a bucket next to the bed because I ended up throwing up all night. The next day I woke up naked in his bed and didn't really remember what happened, he came in and retold me the story and it all came back to me.. I left shortly after, still really sad and embarrassed. I'm so bad at sex.
Jess8888 on May 15th, 2009 | Comments: 2
It was the night of prom , and come the after party, everyone was merry and high. I was gettin kinky with a girl I didn't know and before I knew it, I was behind a green house. As we started to "shag", it seemed as though she was holding on to me pretty tightly, so I asumed she was liking it. Little did I know, she had a bamboo stick rammed up her arse and was screaming. She had to have the splinters surgically removed and I never saw her again. I'm so bad at sex.
countcrotchula on May 15th, 2009 | Comments: 0
After a few drinks at a party I had convinced a hot blonde to come back to my place. I made sure my roommate would not be back for some time and invited her in. She sat me down on my bed and pulled out a blindfold. She covered my eyes and laid me down on my bed, then decided to tie my arms to the bed posts and "slip on something comfier". After 10 minutes I started to wonder where she was and started to get angry and slowly began to struggle free from the rope she had applied to my wrists. After an hour or so of struggling, I finally heard a voice, however it sounded very familiar. The person came over and removed the rope and my blindfold. Sheer horror and embarrasment came over me when I saw my roommate standing there and all of our posessions missing. We never found our things again and the number she had given me was the Chinese restaurant down my street. We had to take out a student loan of $4000 to cover all that had been taken! I'm so bad at sex.
countcrotchula on May 14th, 2009 | Comments: 2
Yesterday I realized that it has been over a month since I had any form of sexual activity. Due to finals and hard-core studying I didn’t even care to masturbate for about a week. When I got home I decided to call “an old friend” to help me relieve some stress. My parents were out for dinner so we chilled in the TV-room. Soon enough we started hooking up and after a few minutes she began going down on me. The girl was an absolute pro, just like I remembered her. Teasing me, she begged me not to finish as she really wanted to please me. After a good twenty minutes I couldn’t hold it any longer, remember it has been a week. As I was about the finish the door opened, I flipped the girl over the couch and grabbed a pillow to cover my erection, but it was too late. As my mom walked in, standing right in front of us, I experienced one of the strongest orgasms, blowing my load straight into the pillow. Luckily my mom didn’t seem to notice, she appeared to be looking for something. Then she grabs the pillow I was holding and leaves the room. A few seconds later, I hear a loud scream from the living room. The pillow was in fact a gift my mom had specially made for my grandma’s birthday, and yes it had her picture on the back. I came all over my grandma’s face. I’m so bad at sex.
daitk on May 14th, 2009 | Comments: 8
Sounds like you're good at sex (2)
So this guy in my dorm and I have a stress-relieving relationship - the day before we both had tests we decided to go for a quickie in his room. We're doing it doggie-style standing up, me leaned over a desk when he says he's about to come. I lifted my head to turn around & swallow but hit my head on a shelf above the desk, i fell backwards, hitting his junk & blue-balling the bitch and passed out for apparently an hour. I woke up naked to him and his friend sitting on the bed watching tv laughing at me. I'm so bad at sex
melonrageous on May 13th, 2009 | Comments: 1
A little while ago, my girlfriend told me that the second time we did it, I was sliding my "junk" in between her and the couch, not actually inside. I came from it. I'm so bad at sex.
anon16 on May 13th, 2009 | Comments: 3
So it was just another drunken night and I went out and slutted it up. I finally found myself going home with this hunk of an Asian and I went down on him and was surprised to find that what they say about Asians is not quite true. So I'm doing my business, when I look up to find him sleeping. Well somehow, just as I stop, he manages to finish IN HIS SLEEP. Well, in my overly drunken state, this causes me to throw up and then pass out. I woke up in the morning, my head on his naked crotch, covered in my own puke and his *stuff*, with a slight rash from rubbing against his pubes all night. I'm so bad at sex.
JayZ on May 12th, 2009 | Comments: 4
Sounds like you're good at sex (1)
The beginning of my college career started with a party my older brother threw at his house near campus. While hammered and walking to the party, my friend and I come accross this young lady (smoking hot and way out of my leauge). She was sitting on a porch crying her eyes out because apparently her friends informed her that her boyfriend was cheating on her. I suggests she joins us and forgets about him the rest of the night(The sound of slot machines paying off was going off in my head). We arrive at the party and she gets to the keg, I get to the liquor stash. An hour in, she is still sipping away at her beer, so I get the plan set in action. Within 30 minutes she's forgotten about the ex-boyfriend and is having a blast until some guy spit beer all over her. I take her to my brothers room to get an extra shirt and as shes changing I asked her to stop for a second so I could take in the scenery (corny but it worked). She was excited by that comment and tells me to take mine off. Within minutes the condom is on and I hear that lovely sound of heavy breathing. As shes laying on her back I realize I can't hold it any longer. I think this is the perfect opportunity to re-inact what I have seen in my collection of porn. I decide to rip the condom off to ejaculate on her chest. Instead it comes out with such pressure that I end up blowing it on her face and in her eyes. She screams "my eyes, my eyes!" then proceeds to call me an asshole and punch me in the face. It obviously caught me off guard and knocked me off the bed onto the hardwood floor. I fell right on my shoulder and dislocated the damn thing. I told the doctor who reset my arm that I fell off a porch because I was too embarassed to admit that I got beat up by a girl. I am so bad at sex.
thedude on May 12th, 2009 | Comments: 6
My boyfriend had been away for almost the whole summer, so I was really excited when he came home. I went over to his house and his dad was nice enough to let us be alone in the basement. We got in the mood and after 30min or so, he suggests sex. I knew this was probably going to happen when he came back. So I said yes. This would be the first time for both of us. We put on some music and laid on a blanket on the floor. We went at it for about 45min and he said oh shit or something like that. I said "is it that good?". He responds with "No, not really" and got off me and told me I should probably go home. I'm so bad at sex.
jenbot on May 11th, 2009 | Comments: 2
In the spirit of the end of the semester I ended up really trashed with a substantial distance between where I was and where I wanted to go. Obviously I decided this was the time to test out my drunken cycling skills. Bad call. I ended up with a substantial limp due to the severe injury to my knee - even the slightest of taps to my poor joint would bring me to the brink of tears. But even this excruciating pain wasn't going to stop me from hooking up with with foxy little blonde I had been bedding. Everything was going fine despite the cramped quarters of a single bed, until I tried to shift my body position while going down on her and slammed my bruised knee against a cinder block wall. It felt like 1000 needles were being jabbed into my kneecap and my whole body tightened, my jaw clenched and my teeth clamped together in response to the pain -- the pain I quickly forgot when I heard the scream and realized the horror of what I had just done. "WHAT THE FUCK! Did you just BITE me??"... yes, yes I committed cunnilingus high crime by replacing clitoral stimulation with chomping. Clearly that was the end of that hookup and her legs remained closed to me for some time afterwards. I'm so bad at sex.
jaws on May 11th, 2009 | Comments: 0
