Index Top of the week Top of the month Top of all times Best at sex Most discussed Most favorited

My husband and I had been trying to get pregnant for several months. We had always used a condom and  had never had sex with anyone else. After many failed months we went to our family doctor in hopes that  she would have some information for us. We discussed methods, positions, and what time of the month it would be best for me to conceive. My husband asked the doctor, "what about the cleanliness of it without using a condom, can my penis you know be infected?" The doctor replied, "well, as long as she takes proper care of her vagina she should be alright," we both looked at each other puzzled. The doctor paused for a moment and said, "you are doing it vaginally aren't you?" I'm so bad at sex.

sjnfl on November 10th, 2009 | Comments: 0

I was just leaving an electro show absolutely plastered on  my drug of choice, ketamine. For all you kids at home, ketamine, or k, is used to tranquilize animals, yes  that's right I'm an idiot. Anyway, this girl with the words "FUCK" tattooed on her neck whom I had been dancing with asked me to come home. This is a rare opportunity for me at a club, because usually I'm more concerned with  the fact I can see the planet Neptune out of the corner of my eye than any member of the opposite sex. Anyway, with my last ounce of rationality, I ask, "do you have a condom?" She said, "no, but fuck it I'm clean," cleanliness had not been a issue for me (pregnancy was). Cleanliness however became THE factor when I realized what I was dealing with: I'm not sure what alien from Mos Eisley Space Port  last had sex with her, but he most definitely did  not pull out. Reaching for any sort of  protection I could find, I grabbed my baggy for ketamine and sort of wrapped it around my head. Kids, this  will be your second lesson, if there is any remaining ketamine in this bag, as soon as you get hard your dick will sting a thousand stings. I wanted to stop, I HAD TO STOP! but tattoo girl was stiill clipping  hard on the uppers  she was on and I knew she would be able to take me in at least hand  to  hand  combat. So when we changed positions, I ran out the  door reaching for any articles of clothing I could find. My spoils: a sock, and  her torn t-shirt that had "slut" written on it. The sock came in handy as it acted as a little snuggie for my severaly injured penis. Regardless though, walking home in the winter in Montreal, with a torn t-shirt that says slut and a snuggie around your penis, isn't the most amazing way to cap off your night. I'm so bad at sex.

flashcard on November 10th, 2009 | Comments: 3

A few years back, me and one of my ex girlfriends (who I must say is one of the biggest freaks I have met till this day) decided to have sex in her garage while her parents were out. At the same time her little brother and sister were home, just keep that in mind. First, we started on the dryer, it was good... but a little too loud because her brother kept hearing noise and coming out to the garage. So we decided to do it on something that wouldn't creek so much... so we did it on top of her dads giant fish tank. Yes... her dads giant fish tank. I sat down all ready for action, and right after she got on and we got in our groove... the fish tank shattered everywhere. We swept it up before he got home, but all hell broke loose when we said we didn't know what happened and her little siblings did. Damn, I'm so bad at sex.

musicandsex on November 4th, 2009 | Comments: 0

I was involved with a guy for a long time, and after a year and a half I guess he realized we had surprisingly never had shower sex. He decides to creep in on me and proceeds to sit me down on the shower bench away from the flow of water and go down on me. After I cum, he forces me up against the wall where the shower head is so the water's running down my back. Since he hadn't been in contact with the water yet, I guess he didn't realize just how fucking hot it was. I didn't think anything to mention it, I always shower in scalding hot water, so he goes for it and scalds his dick before he even got a chance to get it in. The shock of the pain makes him jump back, causing him to slip and fall painfully headfirst onto that same bench that had just been so good to us. Not only would he not have sex with me for the next couple days, but he never wanted shower sex again. I'm so bad att sex.

Kimoski on October 25th, 2009 | Comments: 0

My girlfriend and I had already had sex once today and usually I have a hard time getting it up a second time at least not within the same hour. As we were about to hop in the shower I started smacking her ass playfully but noticed that she really liked it and apparently so did I. I was hard enough to do it again so I leaned her over the bath tub and we started doing it doggy style. The shower was still on and so the bathtub was filling up with water making everything very slippery. Right as I was about to come her hand slipped and she smacked face first into the bath tub making her laugh hysterically and me loose my hard on. We're so bad at sex.

adonis667 on October 23rd, 2009 | Comments: 0

Sometime recently my now ex and I were furiously engaging in what can only be described as hot monkey sex, when we decided to try a few things out. We lit some candles to set the mood and got a couple items ready. She grabbed her bathrobe and had me tie her to the bedpost with the rope part while she blindfolded me. Things seemed to be going good. When the moment of truth came she shouted that she wanted me to pull out "just in case," which meant that since I couldn't see I figured I had a free pass for the facial. I guess I was really impressive that night because there was a lot... and then I hear her yell that I got her in the eye. I tried to get up and didn't think about removing the blindfold. I tripped, knocked over a candle, and busted my head on the nightstand. I woke up to her screaming about a fire and took off my mask to see that she wasn't able to wipe off her face. After putting out the fire and getting her untied I had a good laugh. She got a new guy the very next day. I'm So Bad At Sex.

ouzowuzo on October 12th, 2009 | Comments: 0

today my boyfriend of 4 months and i decided to do it for the first time.after trying to get in position and a few kicks to the twins,we eventually got there in the end.Three hours later he txts me and writes " read my signature,i was thinking of you when i wrote it" so i scrolled down the txt and his signature reads:<<Tisha,i've had better sex by myself and thanks for squishing my big boys..xx ps i screwed your cousin and shes better than you by far>> i live in new zealand, and our towns are very small, so now i see him all the time and whenever he sees me he grabs his nuts and winks.im so bad at sex

FullOfRegrets on October 7th, 2009 | Comments: 0

I had sex with Kristin W. I'm so bad at sex.

cezarmilan on September 30th, 2009 | Comments: 0

Sounds like you're good at sex (1)

So, a few years ago I got reall trashed and decided to have a 1 night stand.  Naked, beligerant, with a stranger, back of my car, and in view of several others at a bonfire.  Me and the guy getting down to business when I realized I had to puke.  We were conveniently doing it doggy-style, so I simply had to open the door I was facing and take care of business.  Moments later, he was puking out his side of the door, as well.  Recovered, I was layed back in the car with my face near his ass.  Presumably from the force of vomiting, he let a few farts slip, right in my face.  Luckily, we were able to laugh it off, but I am still so bad at sex.

dirtyvag1 on September 27th, 2009 | Comments: 0

So when me and one of my exes got together i wasn't a virgin and he was. So one day we decided we were going to go back to his place and have sex for the first time. When we got there things were kind of awkward because he didn't really know what to do and he assumed i did. Baring in mind i had only had sex once before this so i didn't really know what i was doing, he put me on top of him and proceeded to ram his penis into my pelvis causing him to not only go limp from pain but also fracture his penis. Needless to say we didn't do it again for a while. I'm so bad at sex :P

kmurphy91 on September 26th, 2009 | Comments: 1