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I'm a pretty self confident guy and not too much has ever bothered me as it comes to jealousy so this was a very unique experience for me. I thought it would be a great idea to buy my wife a dildo to spice up things in the bedroom. I walk into the sex store and begin to peruse all the various dongs of various shapes and sizes. I wanted to get something that was similar in size maybe a little bigger just so my wife would get a different experience. The associate who was working there came up to me and asked if she could help, I told her what I was looking for and she immediately picked out what was apparently, her favorite. It was a 9" black cock. Now I have a 6 incher so I thought this was a little out of the question but the associate working there insisted that this was a good buy. So at very least I thought that my wife would get a laugh out of it. So later that night we're fooling around and I tell her about my present, she is shocked and did laugh about it at first but through some encouragement she decided to try it. At first it was hard to get in but she eventually managed to get it all inside her. She LOVED it she was going down on me while bouncing up and down on her new toy. We both got off and went to bed. The next day we were fooling around again and I began doing the deed and about 3 minutes in she stopped me and asked if she could use the toy again this time she payed little attention to me as this plastic toy got to pleasure my wife, I jerked off later. I created a monster, I'm so bad at sex.
norwest on August 3rd, 2009 | Comments: 0
It was a summer of hot, sweaty and dangerous car sex. Because of a few rather inconvenient circumstances, my boyfriend and I were often forced to perform the sacred hippidy dippidy dance in the front seat of a 12 year old car (tricky). Even more tricky was finding an appropriate place to park the car and get down. We generally stuck to empty "business parks" and, in more than one instance, a rather abandonned looking Chinese Evangelical church parking lot. The church never failed us, until the time it did. Basically, we were doing what we always did and things were going smoothly. I was on top and I suppose slightly too focused on what was going on below. Before I knew it, a silver minivan was parked directly behind us. Naturally, I freaked and attempted to hide myself by crouching. Of course, this didn't work, and the van pulled up right beside us. We were then both yelled at in broken english ("YOU LEAVE NOW PLEASE") by who we can only assume was the priest at the church. Realizing he wasn't going to leave until we did, my boyfriend and I fumbled around with our clothes and tried to drive away without showing the poor chinese chap too much ass. However, as it was 11:30 am, he probably caught a glimpse or two of pasty, white nudity in the morning sunlight. I'm so good at being trashy, but I'm so bad at sex.
showmethesnatch on July 31st, 2009 | Comments: 0
I had been hooking up with this guy for a few months and things were starting to get serious. After a night of drinking and partying we headed back to his room and started messing around. All of a sudden the dinner I had had a few hours earlier began to violently disagree with me. Attempting to suppress the sounds from my stomach, I told him I wasn't feeling well and rolled over to go to sleep. Not too long after we had drifted off I was awoken by an explosion of farts. Unfortunately it woke the guy up as well and all he could say was, "whoa, what the....?" Shocked and embarrassed I leapt out of bed and ran all the way back to my building in his boxers, tshirt, and heels. Lets just say I had to run those boxers through the wash a few times. I'm not sure if he was too drunk to remember it, or if he was simply too embarrassed for me to say anything, but the incident was never mentioned again. His roommates, however, continue to ask why I bolted out of their room that night. I'm so bad at sex.
IBlametheNuns on July 31st, 2009 | Comments: 0
I had a huge crush on one of my friends for about 6 months. The night before he broke up with his girlfriend he came over to my house. We started out kissing and then it somehow evolved into naked kissing. Right before we were about to have sex he stopped, sat upright, looked at me and said:"Wow, who knew you had such a great body underneath all those weird clothes!" I'm so bad at sex.
TheCinnamon on July 26th, 2009 | Comments: 0
there was one time a friend came over to stay at mine after a night out with other friends catching up. anyway we get home and i put on a movie and start half falling asleep to that when she starts coming onto me. i give in put on a rubber and start going at it.halfway through my phone goes off and instantly im reminded of my mate, so being the cheeky lad i am i started yelling his name to be a dick. suddenly my head is filled with thoughts of my mate and i lose wood. i roll off the girl laughing half ashamed i lost wood half glad i couldnt keep it thinking bout a dude... IM SO BAD AT SEX
jackhammer on July 22nd, 2009 | Comments: 0
I have been holding off losing my virginity for a few years now and recently I decided to cash in my v card with the guy I'd been seeing for a few months. He was a little bit shy and not what I expected for my first but he made you feel really good and comfortable and I felt that the time was right. We started to have sex but we were in a really awkward position so we switched but then it just got worse. I found it so painful that I had to ask him to stop and it didn't seem like he was enjoying it anyways. A few days later he came over and told me we had to talk. He said he thinks he's gay. I'm so bad at sex
savemenow on July 12th, 2009 | Comments: 0
So, this one time i was humping a girl in my truck. I mean, I was pumping away like a jackrabbit on steroids. I was under the impression that I was showing her how professionals do it, but then she said I wasn't in. turns out I was slippin' it between the butt-cheeks. I'm so bad at sex.
tits mcgee on July 10th, 2009 | Comments: 0
I had just lost my virginity a few weeks ago, and was vacationing on an island off the coast of France. Needless to say, I was overly full of self-confidence/libido, but a little, ah, *tight* on actual sexual experience. Out at a club with some guys my friend and I had met, one thing started to seem like it was going to lead to another with this one Frenchman. We decided not to let his lack of a car, my extreme inebriation, or moral qualms get in our way, and left the club for "somewhere more private," a.k.a. the fence outside a nearby house. He started nailing me against the fence. Stark naked on a residential street and freaking out about being caught, I made him stop every time I thought I heard a car coming. Then we had to stop for real because he was much taller than me so had to hold me up, and his arms got tired. So we started having sex on the gravel of the driveway, with him on top. 45 minutes later, with gravel embedded into my back and ass, aching from the difference in diameter between my freshly deflowered vag and his freakishly short but thick dick, and wondering at the stamina of this Gallic Casanova, I had to ask him to stop. He started kind of hiccuping/sniffling (like you do when you're about to cry and really trying not to), presumably because he thought he was so shit awful or from the frustration, who knows. I don't know what was worse, finding the next day that it hurt to sit down, or finding out from my friend that it was his first time. I'm so bad at sex.
HellaAwkward on June 23rd, 2009 | Comments: 1
It was my birthday, and I was excited. My birthday is April 1, that's right, April Fool's day! I got home from work, and several of my friends had broken into my house and had a surprise party all set up for me. It was awesome, keg beer, steaks, and a girl I had a crush on was there. She'd been there a couple of hours, helping to set things up and waiting, drinking heavily (probably to get drunk enough to do me).We talked for a while, and she eventually took me to my bedroom to "blow out my candle". She got me undressed, pushed me back on my bed, and started going down on me. She was doing a magnificent job, when all hell broke loose.She gagged. Now I am not that big, just an average guy, but damn if she didn't hit her gag reflex on my wank. She threw up the barf of the drunk, which was pretty freaking gross and disgusting, but her projectile vomiting did not stop her from her appointed duties....she continued to "blow out my candle". I had to leave, gagging and sick from the smell and the thought of her vomiting on me! I showered, went back to the party, a little shy, and a little embarrassed. Because she was drunk, she told everyone she gagged on me, and that it caused her to vomit. I got a reputation of being a "big man" on campus, but I am not, nor am I even close to being a "big man". I'm just a regular guy.I got a reputation of being "big", and a girl came over to the house to check it out. After our "session", she cleared up the confusion about the size, which ended up being worse than being thought of as the guy who made chicks gag. She told everyone I was "normal" (or small, depending on who you talked to). It got around that I was NOT the "big man" everyone thought I was, and the rumor spread faster that I was NOT big. I'm so bad at sex.
hautedawg on June 22nd, 2009 | Comments: 0
My girlfriend and I had been getting it on and we decided that it was time for us to actually go all the way. It started off pretty quickly and she began to get worried that it wasn't going to last long enough to get her off. She told me to start thinking about things to make it last longer, and even suggested that I should think of someone that both her and I knew and she knew I was physically repulsed by said person. I immediately went limp and couldn't get back up for the rest of the night. I'm so bad at sex, but the person I was thinking of must be even worse.
replicant on June 21st, 2009 | Comments: 0
