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A while back my girlfriend and I both worked in the same department store. I was the manager, and since it was a family-owned and operated business, the owners decided it would be nice to give me my own office. During her lunch break one day, we decided to have sex in my office. We were sort of halfway on my desk, and things were getting pushed around. We walked out into the main part of the store after straightening ourselves up and every employee turned to look, and then began to applaud. Turns out while we were going at it somehow we turned on the PA function on the phone...our moans and dirty talking had been broadcasted to the entire store. I'm so bad at sex.
jafa on June 20th, 2009 | Comments: 1
Sounds like you're good at sex (2)
I was experimenting with a gal pal of mine, and we ended up in my room while she was sleeping over. I did some things for her, she did some things for me. We decided it'd look iffy if my mom were to walk into the room to see both of us without anything on in my bed. So I did her first, and she was on me when the light in the hallway turned on. I freaked out, and I jumped and hid on the side of the bed unseen from the doorway, completely naked. When my mom opened the door and asked where I was, my friend shrugged and said she didn't know. My mom, being the nosy as she is, looked for me all over the room and found me. I told her that I'd been changing and when the light came on, I was afraid my brother would come in and I hid. She didn't believe me. She made me start going to church every Sunday because she thinks I'm a lesbian. I'm so bad at sex.
brezzie on June 18th, 2009 | Comments: 0
When I was a young buck and a virgin, I once sneaked out of my house and into the house of my girlfriend at the time. Her parents were home and already hated my guts, so we had to be super ninja about it. So she was lying and there and I was feeling her up a bit, gradually taking things further. It was really dark, which made it that much harder to find my way around her body, as if it wasn't hard enough in the first place, being a total virgin and all. Eventually my hands found her vagina so I began to do what I believed to be the act of fingering. I was oblivious to the fact that my fingers never actually penetrated, and they were actually just resting outside. And then I thought "Hey, a lot of women have vibrators, because they like how that feels, so maybe I can emulate one by shaking my fingers really fast." And so I did, and she was pretty much silent the whole way through. It was dark, so I couldn't see her facial expressions, but it's probably better that way. After doing that for maybe 2 minutes, I was like "Wanna have sex?", to which she reluctantly replied "ummm... no...". Reluctantly, because she was debating whether she should be a trooper and let me be even more lost with my penis than I was with my fingers, or indirectly tell me how god-awful I am at this whole thing. I'm so bad at sex.
ohdayumm on June 11th, 2009 | Comments: 0
One night in college I made a booty call to a friend. When we finally got to it, he was too big for it to be pleasurable in any way, so I ended up trying to suck him off, that didn't work. He ended up crying and thanking me anyway. I'm so bad at sex.
psycho on June 11th, 2009 | Comments: 0
So a while back, my girlfriend of a couple months and I were hanging out in my dorm room. My girlfriend decided, being a virgin, she finally wanted to have sex. Because of my roommate, I whipped out my phone and sent the generic "can I have the room for a while?" text. The mood was right and we climb up on my bed. My loft bed, five feet off the floor. So we start going at it, with my bed creaking and slamming into the wall, and like 10-15 minutes later, my door flies open and my roommate walks in, texting and looking down. He turns on the light, stops in the middle of the room, sends his text, and looks up at my girlfriend and I, naked, at his eye level. He yells something incomprehensible and ducks out of the room quicker than I've ever seen him move. Needless to say, my girlfriend was no longer in the mood. My roommate got the text I sent to him ten minutes after she left. I'm so bad at sex.
missouriblows on June 10th, 2009 | Comments: 0
I was taking a girlfriend out to some bars on her last week in town before she moved away. We decided to have sex in my truck before we went into the bars. So i drove around the back of a building past a chain-link fence/gate where there were some parking spaces and we started going at it. Half way through someone got into a car next to us and drove away. When we were finished and were driving out to the street the fence was shut and locked. It was too big to run through with my truck so we had to jump it and leave my truck. It was one of those fences that have sharp points all along the top and both the girl and i got all cut up. We had to get a ride home from my roomate and bled all over his car. We didnt have sex again. I'm so bad at sex.
imthatguy on June 9th, 2009 | Comments: 0
After having a very intoxicated one-night stand, I looked at my fuck mates facebook page. He still wears terry cloth sweaters. I chose to have sex with THAT. I'm so bad at sex.
ihateterry on June 8th, 2009 | Comments: 1
It was my first time going down on a girl. I was asking lots of questions, because I'm awkward like that. About ten minutes in, I realized she hadn't made a noise. I was worried, so I asked "Is it working?" She sighs and says, "It probably would if that wasn't my asshole". To this day I still blame her for having a butthole that's unusually close to her vagina. But, I'm so bad at sex.
dannytanner on June 7th, 2009 | Comments: 2
Last night I ended up fairly intoxicated with my best friends at a local country bar. I was meeting up with this guy I had met on Plenty of Fish, and he turned out to be pretty cool, and very cute. He was buying me drinks all night, and one thing led to another and we ended up back at his place. Making out occurs, clothes begin to come off, he doesn't have a condom but at this point I couldn't care less. I'm absolutely chafed when he sticks it in my behind. Shocked and in absolute pain I try to redirect, but to no avail. I get home at 3AM to my mother saying "look what the cat dragged in". Surveying the damage, I have a bloody nose, and am an absolute mess in places I'd rather not revisit. I'm so bad at sex.
afterschoolamerica on June 5th, 2009 | Comments: 2
I was at my girlfriend's place and we had only had sex a couple of times and her parents were away, so we thought we'd try it again. We were in her room fooling around and she asked if I had a condom. I didn't and neither did she. We weren't about to go at it bare back, so we went to her parents' room and stole one of her dad's. While we were in there we started making out again on their bed. We ended up having sex. I was pretty proud of myself; I got in some good positions and it was going pretty good. I was pumped.... then *snap* condom broke. She started freaking out that she was going to get pregnant and I was freaking out cause that would totally put a damper on us doing it again, so I yelled in a nervous tone "GO JUMP IN THE SHOWER. CLEAN IT OUT!!!!" I'm so bad at sex.
bestoftheworst on June 4th, 2009 | Comments: 0
