I recently was dumped by my girlfriend because, "we just were not working out." After a few days it was revealed to me that in actuality it was because I apparently sucked at sex. I called up my now ex asking for an explanation. At first, she denied these allegations, but when pressured, entered into a detailed presentation at how bad I was. I spent the rest of my holidays masturbating the various pictures of Tiger Woods' mistresses on the net. I'm so bad at sex.
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