When I was 15, I had one of the coolest girlfriends a kid in grade 10 could have. She listened to good music, was 16!, and was down to fuck. I was a nervous virgin, but after a few weeks of doing things I had only read about in my "Your Developing Body" textbook, the prospect of intercourse was finally brought up. We were at a party, we had been drinking, and there was an empty room upstairs. I had watched all the porn on my computer earlier that day to learn some moves and was actually doing quite well, until I started to feel a horrible rumble in my stomach. I ignored it, truly believing I could finish before I ruined the toilet with the KFC I had eaten while watching said porn. This was a big mistake, the relaxation of my abdominal muscles after I came caused me to shit everywhere: on the bed, on the floor, and worst of all... all over her. She screamed and ran out of there. We avoided eye contact for the rest of the school year, and she eventually moved away. I'm so bad at sex.
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injuredlobster on January 14th, 2010
absolutely outstanding.